Beat the Heat.
Feels good to be back. I am beggining to love the sea.. BUT, I am beggining to hate my color as well. Haha. Oh well, its summer, and everyone's got the liberty to walk around with a tan, right? I must say though, that I do not have plans on hitting the beach within the next 2 weeks or so.. I want to stay clear of the beautiful sea as much as possible. Haha. I might over-do the tan.
Drinking moderately is dangerous to your health. Hahaha. I spent 2 nights and 2 days in Batangas once more. On the first night the "oldies" decided to sing the night away and drink. Since all my cousins were younger than I am, and I was left with no one to talk to, I agreed to join the company. It's funny watching your parents, aunts, uncles get themselves drunk. I enjoyed laughing at what they were doing as much as the marine life I saw on that trip. Haha. They did the same thing the second night, but this time no one got drunk 'cause we had to wake up early the next day for a boat ride to an island.
The beach gives me the temporary feeling of "peace" that i need. I enjoyed the island SO much. The weather was good, the water was awesome, and the sun wasn't showing that much so I dint get toasted. The only thing I dint like much was the jellyfishies [yeah, you have to say it like that. jellyfishies.]. There were like a hundred of them. Im scared of jellyfishies and this made snorkling a lil bit hard for me 'cause I panic when I see a jellyfishy swimming towards me. I end up scaring the fish away. The jellyfishies that were there were safe, but i still dont like them touching my skin or whatever. The kids were trying to make me hold them but I just cant. The fish on that spot we picked were pretty! I never went that close to a pretty fish in open water. After snorkling, we went back to the shore, and thats where my emotions started to get a hold on me. Haha.
Pretty Little Shells.
I never knew that shells could help you psychologically. Haha. While I was picking shells on the shore, I saw that Tita Apple [my aunt's sister in law. who happens to be SUPER cool. hehe] just kept on walking and looking at the shells but she never picked up a single piece. It was just weird cuz Ted and I already had a handful of shells but she had none. Apparently, Uncle Joseph [her brother, my aunt's boyfriend.] gave her an assignment. I personally call it the "Finding Lessons of Content Ashore Assignment" . Haha. Tita Apple asked me if I ever found myself going around the mall for more than 3 times already but still not having done a single purchase. She told me that this happens to her all the time, and that the worst part is, she pressures herself and ends up buying something that she doesnt want. Uncle Joseph told her to walk the beach once[Meaning, she cant go back and forth the shore], and find ONE shell that she REALLY likes. The thing is, once she picks up a shell, it means that thats the one she likes. She cant drop it and look for a better one. I know it sounds silly and that it's a waste of time, but it's more than just a lesson in shopping that we learned. Many people are similar to what I am when picking shells on shore. I pick up pretty shell after pretty shell, never stopping because I always hope that the next 'pretty shell' I pick is better than the first one. I end up having so many shells, and nothing that I really want to bring home. For some reason, the "Finding Lessons of Content Ashore Assignment" made me think of what I'm doing with my life right now. I set my mind on doing something but end up not achieving my goal all the time. It's because, in the process of completing what i have to do, I see something else, 'something better', causing me to stop what it is I am currently doing. I set my mind on a 'better thing' and end up doing the same crap I did the last time. I'm never content. Instead of liking a shell for it's pretty colors and patterns, what I take notice of is the little crack it has on the bottom. I throw this shell away, and start looking for one that doesnt have a crack. I end up finding one, but this time, one corner is chipped off. AGAIN, i search for a prettier shell. This goes on and on. I just realized that the reason why I've been messing up, getting heartbroken, etc... is because of my fear of facing what's wrong in a situation, or in the case of love, what's wrong with that person. If only I held on to what I had before, instead of letting them go, I wouldve been happier. If only I didnt make myself believe that there's always something better to find out there, maybe I wouldnt curse life as much as I do in the present. Such thoughts swim in my head as I watch the waves crash on shore. And until now, It's as if I'm still stuck on that shore, thinking which shell I'll bring home. It made me thing of a lot of things... BUT... it's this one thing that made me think harder....
Thrown chances.
What are the chances of finding a shell again, after you threw it away? With the wide spread of sand, and the thousands of shells lying there, I think its pretty hard to catch a second glimpse of that same shell. I believe that it's the same with love... once you've thrown it away, it's hard to get it back. The "uncontent" thing comes in here... you see, i've been so stupid that I have the same mentality when it comes to love. The mentality I'm talking about is the 'not being content' thing. After what I learned on the beach this morning, I want to change the way I deal with things... specially when it comes to love. I've thrown so many chances away and now, I realized that I want it all back. Too late for me... so much for being stupid, Jourd. But right now, all I can do is wait and see if he's coming back. I'll be a shell on the beach.. and he'll be a guy looking for shells. Hopefully I'm the one that catches his eye again. And hopefully he'll say the same thing I did once he picks me up from the sand... "Thank God I found you again."
Oh well. He's been doin so many things... gym, badminton, and many other shizz. I always tease him that the reason why he goes to the gym is for him to look a lot more like Marc Nelson. Hahaha. He hates it when I say that. Hhhhaaayyy.. I wanna say something sana pero wag nalang.. Den knows. Haha. That's what we talked about the whole time! Anyway.. i'm really tired and i have to wake up early for Golf training then practice afterwards. Liz will be coming over tom! Yay. Hehe. Bestfriend bonding. Woopee.ü
